Requesting Parental Advice

Instead of trying to explain my dilemma, let me show it to you, via video. Here is a video of Abigail in the midst of a major temper tantrum.

What is happening, repeatedly, about fifty times a day (really!), is that I attempt to contain the young lady. The reason is that she is bothering her brothers. She is hurting herself. She is escaping. Disappearing.

But here is the issue, when I contain her, a temper tantrum ensues. It is so loud and echoes so badly, that the boys will put their hands over their ears. My blood pressure will rise. Scrubby will hide.

Here is what I have tried:

1. Distraction -- Things like food or drink or play sometimes work for a matter of moments but then she returns to the scene of the crime.
2. Play with Mommy time -- will sometimes work. I will sit on the floor and start playing with something and she will join in. The problem is that this takes me away from the boys and doesn't allow me to have any time with them. In addition, as soon as I get up, she returns to crime scene immediately and begins tantrum again.
3. Not containing her -- Ultimately, she gets hurt or I lose track of her ... nearly every time. She also gets into their stuff. They have a lot of patience for her but I still want to give them time to play by themselves. Every time I think, forget it, I'll just let her "have her way" she gets hurt.
4. Letting her scream it out -- This is probably the best advice I imagine. (I will also hold her and let her cry on my shoulder so I am not abandoning her.) But folks, she screams SOOOOO loud. It causes all of us to get crabby, blood pressure to rise. It's miserable. And she doesn't give up. It can go on for many, many minutes.
5. Remove her from the scene -- She is too young for time-out in the real sense. (People may disagree but I personally feel time-outs before 18 months are wasted effort.) I will often just sit her in another place as a mini time-out, but it does NOTHING. She returns to the scene, absolutely devastated. In fact, she just gets madder. 

Here's what I do know:

1. This will pass.
2. She will grow out of it.
3. I am definitely NOT playing to her every demand. Trust me on this one. She is the youngest of three young children. She is not a sibling who is not used to sharing me. I let her cry. I don't kowtow to her every whim.
4. I absolutely LOVE my daughter. Adore her. Think she is the greatest thing since Sidge and Isaac. I am not angry at her or mad or in danger of doing anything bad to her. I just want there to be more peace on a given day at the home.

But in the meantime, I'd love help from anyone who has an idea that I am not thinking of. What bothers me the most is that:

1. Currently, while Abigail is awake, I am not able to do ANYTHING with the boys.
2. The screaming is quite overwhelming. The boys don't like it, Scrubs doesn't like it, and I don't like it.
3. I would really like, when Abigail is awake, to just have a few minutes to sit and eat, go to the bathroom, anything. And I'd love to have some time to be with the boys while she plays on her own. I have tried to give her crayons (she eats them) or some other toy to keep her occupied. She has NO interest in doing anything but whatever we are doing. And if I hold her on my lap, she destroys whatever I am trying to do with the boys.

Here is another video of her demonstrating her upsettness when she gets into the gated area and I remove her.

*To leave a comment or read comments from other readers, please click here to go to my original post on my Daily Blog.