Hita/Rita

I found this picture of our housekeeper and the kiddos that I had never put on the blog. It has to be from winter based on the space heater on the floor!

Rita spells her name with an R but it is pronounced with a deep, guttural, Heeeee=ta. Hita comes every Monday. For 30 euro (roughly 40 US dollars), and she spends 8-5 helping me. She cleans the whole house, does laundry, dishes etc.

The kids love Hita. She speaks very little English but enough for us to communicate -- with some charades sprinkled in. They don't seem to know this though. They talk to her as if she understands everything they are saying, and she does a good job just going through the motions. While I am pretty sure she can't read -- even in Portuguese -- she goes through the motions -- turning pages and pretending she does. She lets them tell her long stories that she obviously cannot understand. And when they jump out from various locations around the house to "surprise" her, she jumps and says, "I so scared."

I also love that, no matter how many times I correct her, she calls a broom a spoon.

Reminds me of Hatice in Turkey. The refrigerator was always a refrigerary. And "it doesn't matter" what always pronounced "It don't marry."

It's so strange to me that something that is so popular in Europe -- housekeepers -- is so rare in the USA. While I would love to continue the practice when we return to the USA, I know it will not be as easy to find someone or to pay someone!

I make a real point to explain to the kids that Hita is here to help Mommy. That we are going to help her with her job. In the mornings, she cleans the upstairs, and we take time to clean up all our toys and put away all our clothes, so that we can help Hita. In the afternoons, she comes downstairs, and we go upstairs for naps. Again, we make sure that the downstairs is cleaned up. We try to look at this as something we are all working on together. Every day when Hita is done, we make it a point to thank her for helping our family. We give her hugs and say good bye and tell her what a great job she did helping us lead better lives.

There are so many things that my kids just assume are normal. They assume that playing with children who do not understand you is normal. They assume that knowing multiple ways to say thank you is normal. People don't look like them. There are different kinds of money. Showing your ID when you enter and exit the Base? Completely normal.

Next summer, we will return to America, and we will return to our "normal lives." I hope that my children, especially my boys, can glean something from the four years they spent living overseas during their childhood.

Need Advice: Safe Spot

Right after I moved to Turkey with my two-year-olds, I wrote this post asking for advice on finding a safe spot in a new house for my kiddos. Here it is again for any of you all who are struggling with moving with little tykes!

All right folks. Bring it on.

In our last house, I felt like I had a "safe spot" for the boys. I could shut the gate to our kitchen, shut all the doors in the hallway, and know that they, basically, couldn't get into anything.

I could sometimes even take a shower (if I had timed it badly and couldn't do it while they were sleeping or JB was home). I could get ready to go somewhere. I could do my hair and put on my make-up. I could look like I cared about my appearance.

I do not feel that way here. At all.

We are going to put a gate up at the top of our stairs. I think that will help. (We have a lot of things that we are "going to put up" but we haven't gotten to it yet.) But the bottom line is, when I need to get ready to go somewhere, I just don't know what to do with the boys. It just seems like there is so much that they can get into.

My only option has been to turn on a video. But we try to avoid "excess TV." And yet, I am finding that a video is my only way to keep them occupied so that I can have fifteen minutes, or ten, or even five, to get ready to go somewhere.

I feel like I look like I threw myself together. Last night we went to church. JB had sports physicals so he wasn't there. And it was just me. In order to get ready I have to bring both boys up the stairs. I have to put a video on. And even then, they may not sit and watch it straight. They are running down the hall. Jumping on Scrubs. "Helping" me do the laundry Hatice folded by dumping it out. Isaac brought me his nightlight which means he pulled it out of a 220V socket. Then he shut a door (and we have HEAVY SOLID DOORS) and Elijah's toe was underneath the door and he got quite a nasty bruise on his toe. He was screaming. I tried letting them up on my bed to play but it is really high, and Elijah almost fell off. I have set up their room with toys but they wander out of there to other things. I can't shut them in the room because all the doors have drop handles. And they'd scream. And screaming doesn't really make me feel rosey.

Sigh ...

Any advice?

A quick note. I don't want to use pack-n-plays or cribs to "hold them in." We have decided that these are places for sleeping, and if we use them to "contain" they are going to see bed as a bad place.

So what am I missing? Help!

Flying with little kids

I have now taken many trips with children 4 and under (non-school-aged-kiddos.) My biggest trip flying from Turkey to the United States with my six month old daughter and my three-year-old sons (pictured above). I feel that this trip alone qualifies me to provide a bit of "what worked for me." I've been compiling this for awhile, and finally feel that it is "ready" enough to post. Although I am sure I will edit it more in the future. Please include your own suggestions in the comments! I always love to hear new ideas.

1. BE A MINIMALIST: If you cannot bring it, don't! Borrow, buy or do without!

• If staying in hotels, call ahead to see if they have a pack-n-play or crib for you to use. (Always ask if they have a charge for usage, which in parts of Europe, can be fairly extravagant.) If they baby doesn't roll yet, a pallet on the floor is perfectly fine.
• Staying near a grocery store? Bring only enough formula and diapers and wipes to get you there, and buy more when you arrive.
• If staying at someone's house, ask them to secure you necessary items from a friend if they don't have the items themselves. It is often easy to borrow a pack-n-play, swing, car seat, high chair, etc.
• Rental services can be a bit pricey (http://www.babysaway.com/ for example) but might be worth it. Another idea is to actually buy an item second-hand at your intended location or even check out a local MOPs group or church nursery to see if they have toys or items you can borrow while you are there. 
• I never bring my own linens (crib sheets, etc.) Hotels will provide you with an extra sheet that you can wrap around the pack-n-play. In addition, I will often use the hotel rags for burp cloths each day to eliminate my need to bring burp cloths. If the baby is young enough, I avoid bibs too by using the hotel rags.
• If you have the ability where you are going to do laundry, do it! Give up all the cute outfits, cut your amount of clothes way down, and instead plan to do laundry midway through. When we went to Germany with the kids, I brought clothes based on a laundry facility on night number six. Therefore I only brought clothes to get me through five days.

2. TWO CARRY-ONS: That's it! No exceptions!

• Limit yourself to a diaper bag and one small rolling suitcase for your carry-ons. This will allow you to push a stroller (a mandatory if the child is under two), while pulling only one bag and the other swung over your shoulder throughout your airport travels. No exceptions. I have to make it in two bags.
• No purse. Combine that with a diaper bag.
• Your diaper bag should definitely be able to tuck under the seat in front of you. It should contain the things that you may need while on the plane.
• The small rolling suitcase should tuck into the overhead bin above you, and be your "back-up" diaper bag. Ideally, you will not need to utilize it at all during the flight. 
• When making a layover, take time to check your diaper bag and "restock" it from the overhead bag. For example, you would only have enough formula and bottles in the diaper bag for the flight. But after the flight is over, you may need to "restock" the diaper bag to prepare for your next flight. You may only have kept two diapers in the diaper bag, but you should have extras in your overhead bag for the rest of the trip.
• Your overhead bag should contain enough items for the length of your trip plus one extra day. (We have been stranded overnight on two different occasions with a baby without access to our checked luggage.) When considering this, keep the minimalist in mind. You want to bring an extra pair of underwear and a shirt for you. But you probably could wear the same pants and shoes again. Don't try to bring all your toiletries -- the hotel can provide you with those. Just bring the things you would need to survive without your checked luggage -- medications, etc.
• Pack plenty of wipes and some lysol wipes too (if you are a germaphobe) to wipe everything down. Wipes, diapers, and formula, are the items you do NOT want to scrimp on.

3. CAR SEATS: To bring or not to bring?

• I'm definitely of the belief that if a child is under two, and the airline lets them fly for free, let them fly for free! I am lucky because when we fly on the rotator, or when the military buys us a flight, they buy one for all children -- including the ones under two. Flying across the world would be very hard with a child on your lap ("infant in arms" is what the airline calls them.) So you'd have to make the decision whether it was worth the cost of a ticket or not. I have never bought a ticket for a child under two.
• If you don't buy a seat for your lap child, consider bringing a child carrier of some sort (Bjorn or Moby, etc.) or your arms will get very tired holding the baby.
• Don't be afraid to ask someone to hold the child if you need to go to the bathroom -- although, trust me, it is possible to go to the bathroom while holding a baby. I've done it many times.
• Renting car seats can be expensive -- sometimes nearly the price of renting the entire car for the day!
• If you decide not to buy a ticket for your child, you may still get lucky. When you check in, and then again when you get to the gate you are boarding at, ASK if it is a full flight. Emphasize the completely full part. If it is not, you will often be allowed to bring a car seat on for your child. Or they will assign you a seat with an extra seat next to you.
• If your child is still in an infant seat, travelling with the seat is the way to go. If you have not bought a seat, you can either gate-check that seat with the stroller, or you can take it on the plane if there is extra room.
• If your child is in a "big boy" car seat and you haven't bought a ticket, I would check the car seat in as baggage if you must bring it. But the first option is to attain one wherever your final location is.
• If your child is in a "big boy" car seat and you have bought that child a ticket, whether or not to bring the seat onto the plane is a little bit more tricky. Does the child need the seat to fall asleep? Are naps mandatory? Will you have trouble keeping the child seated without the car seat? How long is the flight/s? Keep these things in mind when deciding whether you need to try to lug a car seat through the airport for the flight.
• There are some cool contraptions where you can hook a car seat to a suitcase (like this one). I have never used these because I have always had multiple children which this wouldn't have worked for. However, if you need to take a "big boy" car seat, I would eliminate the stroller and go for something like this instead. 
• When checking on your car seat, I always just used garbage bags instead of buying a carrier.

4. SECURITY: Go with the slow flow!

• While there is a rule about "ticketed passengers" being the only ones allowed through security, there usually are exceptions. If you are travelling with multiple children by yourself, consider enlisting a friend to come with you. When checking in, the airline can provide your friend a special pass that will allow them to help you through security and allow them to stay with you until your flight boards. You need to be obviously in need to get this. (Travelling with one child is probably not enough to get you pity.) 
• Going through security by yourself, with kids, is hard. I try to (a) give myself lots of time (b) go very slow (c) ask for help. If a person is in a hurry behind me, I encourage them to cut ahead of me in line. I go slowly, relax, and don't worry about how fast I go or how much I am slowing people down.
• My strategy is to put everything I can in bins right away. Then, I take the infant carrier out of the stroller with baby in it (if applicable) and put that through. The last thing I put through is the infant seat while I am holding baby.
• If travelling with a baby who does not walk yet, you will most likely (depending on the country) have to take the child out of their stroller or car seat and walk them through. However, always ask. I ask if shoes have to come off. If they don't, I don't want to do that. I ask if the child can stay in the baby seat (a few times I have been allowed to keep them in it and have them get checked by hand.)
• If travelling with children who walk, you will be required to have them walk through security. I usually send my children ahead of me and let the security guards on the other side "babysit" them for me.
• If you are bottle-feeding, you will be allowed to go through security with a reasonable amount of water for bottles. You may be asked to drink the water or the formula (or they will test it) to prove that it is safe.   
• Put all the baby items that you need in a small plastic bag -- diaper cream, hand sanitizer, etc. so you can pull them out easily in security.
• Consider skipping a laptop (if possible.) It's just another thing you'd have to pull out separately.

5. CHECKED LUGGAGE: Avoid if avoidable!

• With airlines charging for luggage, if it is possible for you to mail yourself your luggage for a fairly equivalent amount to checking luggage, do it.
• Most likely, if you don't mail yourself luggage, you will have more than you are able to carry yourself to the desk to check-in. If possible, have someone go with you and get you to security. If not, tip a porter at the curb (if this opportunity is available.) Way worth the money!

6. RULES: Throw 'em out the window!

• When flying with an infant, forget about a feeding or sleeping schedule. If breast feeding, feed the baby the entire flight if you want to. If bottle feeding, have a bottle ready and offer the bottle whenever you want.
• Don't normally give your kids a bunch of junk food? Change your mind for your travel day. Lollipops/ring pops are one of my must have. For one, they kill a lot of time. For two, they help when ears are hurting during take-off and landing. I have even used them with my ten or eleven month olds to keep them sitting on my lap instead of screaming to get down or trying to crawl over me to see the people behind me.
• Never shown your kid a movie? Scrap that idea for just one day. Play movies -- as many of them as they want to watch.

FOOD & ACTIVITIES ON THE PLANE: Keep 'em busy!

• Electronics: Any and all -- bring 'em on. Kids this age are usually not playing electronic games yet, but if they are, let 'em do it.
• Snacks: Try to think of snacks that will be consumed slowly. Lollipops are a great one (and they help their ears -- especially on take-offs and landings.) Consider putting M&Ms or gummy bears in a pill organizer, and as they empty it, reload it.
• Drinks: If your child is potty-trained, try to keep drinks to a minimum to prevent repeat bathroom visits. I often only give water when travelling. The kids don't like it as much and therefore don't drink as much, and it means I don't have to carry juice around.
• Craft bags: Pre-packing some "craft bags" is a great idea when you really need something to kill a few minutes. Put everything you need to do a craft in a bag. For instance: pipe cleaners with beads, paint with water, or mess-free markers and coloring book. Put them in a ziplock bag, and don't let them play with it prior to the trip so that the activity is "new and exciting." Stickers are another great one. I let the kids stick them all over the tray table in front of them (I just try a few first to make sure they peel off easily.)
• Toys: If I was travelling with an infant, I often strapped a few toys to the car seat but toys take up a lot of room, so I often found other toys like water bottles, keys, etc. Things I already had.
• Backpacks: When my boys were able to walk, I started having them pull their own little rolling back-packs. They loved it, and it allowed for me to have more stuff that I wasn't in charge of. They would pack favorite toys of their own -- matchbox cars were very popular for playing with in the airport.

IN THE AIRPORT: Let 'em get dirty!

• If you are a germaphobe, it will be hard for you, but the best thing to do is to just let the kids crawl on the floor when in the airport. You can try to find a cleaner area, you cannot let them eat food off the floor, but there just isn't a lot for them to play with an airport. If I could find somewhere clean, I tried, but otherwise, I let them play on the floor, and when I had a crawler, I let them crawl on the floor and then just tried to wipe them down afterwards.
• Ask if there is a play area anywhere in the airport for the kids.
• If there is a USO (military lounge), find it! They always have things for the kids to do in them. 
• As tempting as it is, you don't want to keep them strapped in their strollers when in the airport. They need to burn energy. Let them!

THOUGHTFULNESS: It'll go a long way! 

• A DVD player is an essential on a flight. But what do you do if your child isn't old enough to wear ear phones. You can play things with the sound way down or off. Or, I have sometimes simply said to the people in our immediate vicinity, "If you can hear this, will you let me know, and I'll turn it down? He's too young to wear ear phones." People often really appreciate thoughtfulness, and I've never had anyone actually tell me it was too loud. (Although I keep an eye on the volume and turn it up or down based on what is going on around the plane or on the show.)
• I will often tell the person in front of my toddler, "I'm really going to try and stop him from kicking your chair. Please let me know if they are bothering you."
• I usually make a joke to lighten the mood when I first get on the plane and feel the eye rolls from those who are lucky enough to sit by us. I say, "Don't worry everyone. The kids and I have talked. They have promised to be on their best behavior." This is most funny when the kid is an infant and obviously couldn't promise anything. 
• If the child is crying, do everything you can to stop it, and apologize to the people around you. But honestly, while stories of rude people spread quickly, I have truly encountered very few of these people. Nearly everyone has been kind and understanding.

Guest Post: Exercise for a Better Body After Giving Birth

“Katie Moore has written and submitted this article. Katie is an active blogger who discusses the topics of, motherhood, children, fitness, health and all other things Mommy. She enjoys writing, blogging, and meeting new people! To connect with Katie contact her via her blog, Moore From Katie or her twitter, @moorekm26.”

Ample time and plenty of energy are exactly the things I did not have as a new mom. A new baby in the house takes a lot of energy, a lot of time, and a lot of
effort, which often left me feeling exhausted. I wanted to lose my baby weight
and get back to the way I looked pre-baby, but without any energy or time I found
myself struggling and wondering how I was supposed to work out. Hitting the gym for hours at a time wasn’t feasible for me with a new baby. Fortunately, I
discovered there were exercises I could do at home!

Talk to the Doctor First 
Medical professionals have two warnings about post-partum exercise for new moms. The first is that every new mom should check with her doctor to inquire about a safe exercise plan. Just like they told you about pain management medicine, circumcision, and cord blood banking for delivery plan, they know all about post-partum exercise as well. Some moms have difficult deliveries and their doctors worry they will hurt themselves if they take on too much too soon. A specialized program can be created with your doctor if you were someone who had a difficult or C-section delivery. The
second warning is that women need at least 30 minutes of moderate exercise each day to maintain the best body and optimal health. These 30 minutes can be broken up into smaller time segments if needed to achieve that goal.

Exercises
Walk. Not only is this a great way for women to ease themselves back in, it’s also a great form of exercise. Load the baby into the stroller and get to walking. New moms can take an easy walk around the neighborhood or park, or they can look for a street with a lot of hills to push the stroller up. Furthermore, women who have a baby Bjorn or other carrier can walk with their baby on their back or front so their arms are free to swing as they should when walking.

You can also get to work on that pre-baby body by investing in a few fitness DVDs and pop one in when the baby is sleeping. I had a pile of workout DVDs after I had my daughter and learned so many new, fun exercises from them. Yoga, my favorite, is a great way to work out, strengthen a woman’s core and build muscle as well as relax and rejuvenate her mind and body. Zumba exercises are another great form of DVD workout for moms. The upbeat dancing always improved my
mood as well as my body.

Nutrition
Working out does a great job of getting the heart rate and muscles going, but it isn’t nearly as effective on its own as it is combined with a healthy diet. New moms should make sure to eat plenty of fiber and vitamins. Foods such as fruits and vegetables, whole grains and dairy products are good for the body and make it easier to lose weight and get healthy.

As a new mom, I did not have a lot of free time to work out on my own, which is why at home exercises and exercises that allowed my baby to tag along became my preferred way of working out. Combined with a healthy diet, I started to see results in no time!  

Interested in writing a guest post for my Daily Blog? Email me at wendi@wendikitsteiner.com. You don't have to have a blog or be a writer. I'd love to share smoething you are passionate about. The topics are limitless.

TV Woes

First time with cable since we've had the boys. Comes automatically with the houses and includes a lot of Air Force news and commercials and some popular shows at strange hours. (Oprah comes on at 9am for example.)

The boys are not used to TV. They are only used to videos. So here is my new advice.

Do not tell your child that we will watch Mickey Mouse Club in fifteen minutes. They will not understand why you are not just pressing play. Trying to explain the concept of TV starting at predetermined times will also not work.

Much crying (times two) will ensue.

You've been warned.

Click here to read this post as it originally ran on my Daily Blog.